There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
