It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
