i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
