I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
