Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
