my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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