So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
