i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
now i know why i became what i already was.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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