I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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