put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
