Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
