P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize