Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
