That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize