But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
