i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No...this little piggys going to the bar
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
