She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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