I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
