Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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