Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
