Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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