I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
