According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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