I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
