Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
