Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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