He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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