i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
