P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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