i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
