I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
