Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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