You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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