he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
