Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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