Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
