She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
