when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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