I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
