Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
