Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
