i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
