she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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