I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
someone owes me an orgasm
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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