I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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