like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
this hospital has no fireball
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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