OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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