whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you win again, gameday.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize