Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Randomize
