Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
