Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
