just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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