You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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