he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
