Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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