You can't special order awesome
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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