i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i've created a new STD.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
