They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Found the puke drawer
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just high enough for therapy.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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