GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
