She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
