i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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