I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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