this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We got so high we made milksteak
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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