My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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