I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
