Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
