His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
