I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize